A message to my younger self,
I just want to let you know that everything will be alright.
I know everything around you is falling apart but believe me, it is only because things are about to fall back together.
Cry as much as you need to, it is alright to not feel okay.
You don’t always have to be strong.
Feel free to smile baby girl, but please, dont use your smile to hide your pain.
I know how real is your pain, so why would you ignore it?
Let the pain come in, cry like a baby if that is what you want, FEEL the pain and then, LET IT GO. Because you won’t be able to let go of your pain and your past unless you decide to face it.
Face yourself, stop being ashamed of your past. Let your pain make you grow.
I know it is hard and I know you think that everything that happened to you was your fault but IT WASN’T.
You had nothing to do with everything that monster did to you. Being drunk doesn’t make it your fault. Just like for him, being drunk wasn’t an excuse to take advantage of your body.
I remember how you thought that it was all a bad dream at first. You were still traumatized and not sure of what actually happened to you.
To be honest, in 2013, you were going through too many problems to actually think about it seriously.
It is two years later that everything made sense and that you really understood how serious it was. In 2015, you realized how sad and empty you really was. You got into a depression, lost interest of everything and end up into a dark place.
But today, you are something else beautiful. If it wasn’t for you and how strong you were, I wouldn’t be here.
I thank you for not giving up on me, my younger self. I know sometimes you doubt it but you are stronger than whatever tried to break you.
When I think about you, I can only be proud of the younger me for keeping her head up no matter what.
I would have so much to say but let’s make it brief. You are loved and appreciated. I am still healing but I promise you that I will never stop helping people because that is the main reason why you decided to HEAL at first.
To: My younger self