Old diary

I just wanted to share this with you all. I found a few sentences in an old diary of mine, where I was expressing myself as much as I could. There is a lot of missing pages but here is a little something. When I took a look at it, I could see how depressed, sad and lonely, I was. My only friends at that time was alcohol and razors. Today, when I think about old times, I actually realize that I am clearly not there anymore. I am not yet where I am trying to be, or completely healed but I AM DOING MUCH BETTER. I really thank God for the strength because I never thought that I would have made it that far. This blog is now my new diary and all my followers are my friends. Much better than alcohol and razors right? A new journey is starting and we are in it ALL TOGETHER.

WE ALL KEPT SILENCE FOR TOO LONG, IT IS NOW TIME TO BREAK THE SILENCE, TO SAY OUT LOUD HOW WE REALLY FEEL. I AM TIRED OF PRETENDING AND LET ME TELL YOU THAT IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!

  • I am a normal person who had to go through fucked up things and had to stand up, keep her head up and put a damn smile on her face like nothing ever happened.
  • She’s gone. She left a long time ago. She’s not herself anymore. Have she ever been herself since? She doesn’t even know who she is anymore.
  • My heart is bleeding. Can you listen to it? Because I can’t explain what is going on there…
  • Need courage to talk to my mom ..
  • Am I lying to them? I am clearly being someone else but is it bad? I am being who they want me to be, right?
  • Maybe in another world, another life, another family, another body, I would have kill you myself ! (with a drawing of a gun)
  • No justice, Fuck it ! You killed me inside and you left with a part of me. I mean, I am literally dying inside do you even care?
  • Should I express myself more or just shut up FOREVER?
  • WHO CAN I TRUST?
  • SHOULD I GO? SHOULD I LEAVE? SHOULD I DISAPPEAR? I WISH I COULD GO FAR AWAY FROM THIS LIFE AND THOUGHTS. (with a drawing of razors and blood)
  • Who can I turn to? If I can’t even trust myself.
  • Everything will makes sense one day.

Ps: I am not an artist. I am really not good at drawing but in those time, I would draw a gun like a pro.

May God bless you all

xox

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