I know it’s been a while I haven’t post something but going through the month of March is always hard for me. First, the kid on my last post is still missing so may you all feel free to repost it. We can’t do much but let’s keep him and his family in prayers, may God bring him back to us.
March 2013 will always be on my mind. There is a lot of things I forget but no matter how hard I try to, I can’t erase what happened to me that year. Everything has been hard this month for me, I am like fighting with myself everyday to stay positive and to not start overthinking. I am not so bad though, but I can’t ignore the fact that it does affects my mood like if it was a reminder. Sometimes, I wish that it was all just a dream. There is a lot of things going on in my mind but it is so hard to put words to it. What hurts me the most is when I hear people talk about rape. In here, I love it because I can freely speak up without being afraid of being judged, instead all I get here is love and support, even advice. Seeing people laugh about it, some saying that if you dress some type of way you have to expect it to happen just breaks my heart.
Just writting this is killing me. I have never seen something affect me like it does. The worst is to stand there listening to everything people have to say about it. My heart screams, no tears will never be enough to express the way all this have made me feel. I am feeling much better with time but it hurts me more to see how people actually react to it. How can someone actually tell you, in other words that you actually deserved it. Is that normal? There is too much I’d like to say but … who actually cares?