The night before last night

Hi everyone 😊 I just want to share this with you guys. First, I might be a little bit quiet now that school have started but I’ll do my best to post at least once a week. Now guys, listen up.

The night before last night, I have experienced something unusual. I don’t even know how to explain everything but I’ll try to. I was at home studying a little bit before going to bed when I started hearing noise. It started at my kitchen window, in the bathroom and then in my room. The noise would stop and start again in another room, and then, back to the kitchen again. I was actually hearing someone walking around my place at midnight. Obviously, all this got my attention so I started walking around my place with a knife.Why? Not so sure but what I know is that I was scared. I was REALLY scared, I don’t even remember the last time I was that scared. My heart was speeding, I couldn’t focus anymore. I was just so scared to do anything but holding that knife close to me. I made a few calls, thought about calling the police but I started feeling like I was being crazy that maybe it was all in my head. I called my parents to come and pick me up because there was no way I would be sleeping in that house alone.

Was it the weather? Someone trying to break in? A neighbor? I don’t know but what I know is that I was traumatized. I thought that my nightmares was becoming true. That situation made me realized that I am STILL healing. I am better then yesterday but I am still scared and traumatized about what happened to me. It made me feel so sad because I really thought I was doing better. The weak part of me took control the next day. I didn’t woke up for school because I WAS NOT FEELING GOOD enough to deal with the day. It was a terrible day for me, having to do like everything is okay but it wasn’t. I am sharing this with you but I know that some will think that I am crazy and it is okay. But I am only a rape survivor who is doing her best to heal from those permanent scars…

I KNOW THAT MY HEALING PROCESS WON’T BE EASY BUT IT IS GOING TO BE WORTH IT!

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7 thoughts on “The night before last night

  1. You are NOT crazy. This happens to me all the time, but that’s just part of my bipolar and schizo effective. However as a fellow rape survivor I know how it can be to feel vulnerable and scared but know we are always healing.

    Liked by 1 person

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