Face yourself

For many years, I have lied to myself and people around me about who I really am. I faked it so good that I actually believed in my own acting.

I am the kind of person who loves to smile but growing up that smile started to hide a lot of pain. More I was hurt, more I would smile. I always had a smile in my face even if deep inside I was crying like a big baby. I guess people got used to that smile so they never questionned me about my life. Because for them, I looked happy but I wasn’t. I knew I was not happy and I knew that I was not myself but I had no idea of who I really was. I never have faced myself. I actually never had the courage to do it because facing myself would mean facing my past, the scars, the bad memories and it was just so hard for me. But today I thank God for that special person He blessed me with that made me realized that if I want to get through it, I’ll need to face myself and accept my past. I first thought that he was kind of hard on me and had no compassion, but he told me exactly what I needed to heal and not what I wanted to hear. After that, I wanted to be able to face myself too. I wanted to know myself better. I started by looking at myself in the mirror and talking about my life story. Everytime I did it, I cried and felt so much better after. Seeing myself in the mirror while talking about my past just made me realized that I have been through a lot of pain but I am still here. It made me realized that I am stronger that I thought I was. That I have been focusing on the wrong stuff, on things I couldn’t change. Since, all I want is to be a better version of myself. Facing myself was so new for me but it felt so good and right. We all have to be thankful for the people we have around us that make sure we get the love and support we need. Because what we want it is not always what we actually need.

The healing process can be harder than what you are trying to heal from but it is worth it. 💓

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23 thoughts on “Face yourself

  1. Hi, thanks for sharing and I agree, the healing process can be a lot more difficult than staying in the dark. In order to heal, we must take responsibility for our actions, forgive others and ourselves, and be vulnerable. I thinks that’s hard for anyone. I know it was for me!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Especially when you make that dark place in your life your confort zone. I used to be fine with not feeling well, thinking that I deserved everything that happened to me somehow. In my mind, all I deserved was suffering and I ended up believing it. But then, I got tired of feeling sorry for myself and I wanted something new. I wanted peace in my life but I knew that the only way for me to get it was to face myself and my past. Healing is not easy and that is the reason why many people prefer to stay in that dark place because they are not used to anything that shines, not used to FREEDOM and PEACE. Forgiving ourselves and people will only set us free from a prison we created ourselves. It was hard for you but you made it because like me, you got to a point where healing was your only way out. You felt so down that to stand back up was your only option. And let me tell you that it was the right thing to do. Much love 💋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes,yes,yes!!! Well said. You just get to a point where you can’t take that feeling anymore. It doesn’t mean I’ll never have bad days again or anything because I’m human, but I don’t ever want to end up in that dark hole again. I hope through our blogging others find the strength to begin healing and believe it does get better instead of staying in the hole or taking their life. I appreciate your response and understanding. 😊😊

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Exactly but see you realized it. I actually really thought that I was 100% healed until a few days ago. I forgot that I will have bad days but it doesn’t mean that I am not better or that I have failed my healing process. I really thank you for your comment and keep on doing it, you are teaching me a lot. People will find strenght through our blogs, just like me when I read your comments. Much love 😚 Stay blessed.

          Liked by 1 person

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